Reference: Ruckstaetter, J., Sells, J., Newmeyer, M. D., & Zink, D. (2017). Parental apologies, empathy, shame, guilt, and attachment: A path analysis. Journal of Counseling & Development, 95(4), 389–400. https://doi.org/10.1002/jcad.12154 Inevitably, parent-child relationships encounter conflicts. When a parent is wrong, how is an apology, an expression of failure and regret, helpful? Apologies require regretfully recognizing that one broke valuable rules and expectations. Past research emphasized identifying offenses and impact requiring apologies by youth but not how parents as apologizers impact the parent-child relationship. Researchers surveyed 300+ parents. They measured parent inclinations to apologize by having participants rate statements like “I don’t like to admit to my child that I am wrong.” They included surveys for empathy, feeling guilt and shame, and a questionnaire to measure relationship attachment. Results? Parents who had more positive attitudes towards apologies had more secure parent-child attachments than the parents who had negative attitudes towards apologizing. Parents’ shame and withdrawal feelings hindered their apologizing to their children. Empathy, feeling guilt, and apologizing was beneficial to the parent-child attachment. Parents, when you do something wrong, recognize your guilt and apologize. Repair and enhance a ruptured relationship. Take moral responsibility. Recognize mistakes. Say, “I was wrong, and I am sorry.

Written by Vanessa Melendez, B.S.