Reference: Bayraktaroglu, D., Gunaydin, G., Selcuk, E., Besken, M., & Karakitapoglu-Aygun, Z. (2023). The role of positive relationship events in romantic attachment avoidance. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 124(5), 958–970. https://doi.org/10.1037/pspi0000406 Everyday relationship experiences play a crucial role in shaping romantic attachments. Psychologists in Turkey researched how daily events and behaviors during discussions with partners can impact romantic attachments. They recruited over 600 heterosexual couples for three longitudinal studies. In study 1, couples in one to three-month relationships participated while study 2 assessed newlywed couples. For 21 days, these couples kept a diary of positive events and, if their partner was involved, what they said to their partner. In study 3, researchers videotaped couples' discussions in the lab three times a month to measure moods and behaviors that related to their feeling secure or uncomfortable in the relationship. Results? Findings consistently showed that an individual’s actions that affirmed the worth of their partner’s actions or talk, such as thanking, quickly forgiving, expressing caring, positive feelings, or praising their partner (not just making conversation) prevented declines in feeling comfortable with closeness and trust. Lesson? Be mindful of your partner! Let them know which of their actions you value. Thank them daily for what they do for you and others. Cherish the small moments of happiness together.

Written by Jarret Bain B.S.